Balance

Years ago I lost a lot of weight, and I used the Wii Fit to help me. Maybe you know of it. It includes a white plastic board that you stand on, and a very judgemental squeeky voiced avatar on the screen letting you know how successful you were being. Oh my goodness I’m never going back to that particular kind of torture!

But one of the things it emphasized was balance. There were excercises where you stood on one foot, or leaned your body this way and that, at just the right angle. Holding awkward poses until the right lights lit up to show success or failure… at balance.

I know balance is important. It can keep you from falling when you miss a step.

And boy, do I miss steps! Physically (oh yes I am clumsy) and metaphorically. I forget things. I get sloppy. My head in a cloud as things pass right by. I know if my life is in balance…. it can keep me from falling when these things happen. When I have planned ahead- left myself time and room to fix small mistakes- then my misteps do not cause so much trouble. (Wouldn’t it be nice if beeps and lights on a screen would grab our attention when we are out of balance.)

I am losing weight again. I know, I know… you haven’t noticed yet. That’s ok– I have. I feel it. I am walking differently already. Noticing a very small shift in my balance. The way I am carrying myself. A little bit taller and straighter.

And I am paying attention to it. As I walk, I feel the balance. Controlling myself more. Not dragging myself along… but propelling forward with a bit more purpose. Maybe even confidence. (Loving this feeling….)

As I walk I have been holding my upward foot just an extra moment in the air. Just an extra inch or two along with the extra second. Pushing my balance. Aware of it. Feeling it. Making it deliberate. Pushing more and more strongly with the foot that is on the ground. Heel to toe. And floating on air just a tiny bit longer with the other.

Maybe that is silly. Maybe it means nothing. (Although I think very few things mean nothing.) A tiny step. A breath more balance. An inch more balance. So small you wouldn’t notice if you saw me in the hall (just like you haven’t noticed these first few pounds.)

Sometimes you might even catch me standing with one foot barely off the ground as I make my copies or pour my coffee. Silly floating moments. Exploring my weight and balance in such tiny ways. Feeling tiny shifts.

I want balance. And I am willing to work for it. To push for it.  At the very least, I am trying to be more aware of it.

Looking inward and looking outward. Giving and taking. Learning and teaching. Working and playing. Loving and being loved.

Balance.

I’m regaining my balance.

Watch me…. strong and floating and balanced.